[ID: a twitter thread by @pete_schultz that reads
“As a relatively successful and busy man who lives in the city, my greatest fear is losing my girlfriend to a hometown hunk with a young son who teaches her the true meaning of Christmas
Just close down his struggling tree farm like your boss told you to and come back to the city so I can take you for granted
You have no businesses co-organizing a Christmas parade. You’re a fancy business lady now and you’re above this. And no, the real Santa doesn’t live in that backwater Hooverville. That’s just a man who forgot how to shave. Come home.
Ok. So he was Santa. Big deal. You and Tad saved Xmas. That’s right I still say Xmas. You learned a lesson, not me. I’m going to a tropical island to celebrate the big account. Have fun at church with flannel man.”]